Random thought offer today ... I wonder if in the future, beings who have transitioned from female to male will be branded the even 'newer sensitive new age guy' ... we used to be women so clearly that'd mean we have some unique insights into how to treat, work with, live with and support women, don't you think?!? ... hmmmm I'm curious that's for sure!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Hello fabulous readers,
This has been a big couple of weeks I have to say, within the space of a 3 days I have had a some fairly big things take place, including a joyous and painful experience of seeing my ex partner (for many reasons - life is by golly a very big paradox), having to find a new place to stay within 48 hrs notice, being advised that my work is winding up sooner than expected, and receiving some medical advice which means I'll probably be looking at one of the surgeries sooner than I had anticipated. So yeh big'ISH' week!!! It's all good though, I love big shifts, so much learning happens during these times, it's an amazing gift!
I thought whilst I continue to develop the next video blog (which has been slightly delayed due my attention being needed on the above) I would like to give you an insight into the 'Transitioning female-to-male in Australia' Handbook. Yes, yes this does exist, all 525 pages of it, with everything you want and don't want to know about this process. Fascinating read, some of which I agree is my experience and other sections which are no where near. So I'll be offering up parts of this with comment over the coming months.
10 THINGS WE WISHED WE KNEW BEFORE STARTING (with my comments)
1. Plenty of people will find you attractive (appearing to be the case although I believe this is more of an energetic attraction rather than physical. Plenty of my lesbian friends are all like 'eww' to the small bum fluff appearing on my chin - I love stirring them - tee hee hee!)
2. There is no reason to rush anything (not necessarily always the case yet good advice if you have a lot of fear around this - everyone's process is their own)
3. Passing is easier than you think (oh my god this is like 2 years away at least of me thinking about so 'no comment')
4. There is no reason to hold yourself back if you want to transition (yes looking within and deciding, is to me the biggest moment)
5. The people who have known you the longest might be the ones that understand you the least (yes this has been my experience with the exception of a few close friends)
6. The truth of who you are is not up for debate (ha! not at all, I've LOVED the debates bring them on, I've discovered so much)
7. There is no checklist. Your mannerisms, sexuality, relationship with your body and medical procedures are entirely up to you (thank goodness for this)
8. A lot of people will have questions, only answer those ones you want to (nup, bring them on, I love answering them all)
9. When it comes to your own questions about your transition, there are no silly ones, ask as many of them as many times as you want to (I would even add here the quality of the questions you ask will assist with the quality of the answers you receive)
10. Be yourself. You'll be fine. (Who am I again? HA!)
First photographs coming soon!
Much love xo
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Thank you again for all the interest in this blog topic that you've extended. It excites and inspires me greatly to know this, and to be even more open in giving you as many insights as I can, as I come to know them. I'm highly excited to see over that 400 people have looked at this, in the first 2 weeks!
I'm now in week 8 of this newly started journey...well I say that in terms of the physical body transformation steps. As I've alluded to previously, this is obviously a journey that has been ongoing for me for quite a while. I've had numerous discussions with a few of you over the years saying things like "you know if it wasn't so misunderstood within society" (my perception here of course, not saying at all that that is the truth!) "and if my Dad was a little more open and understanding I'd probably do this"....well life it seems conspired, saying to me louder and louder "well yes Anna this maybe the reality right now, yet isn't it time you should do this anyway, it's only been on your mind for the last 25 years or so"....(GULP!!!!) "okayyyy", so here I am, and if I'm to be even more honest, it was getting too painful to get up each day, to know this to be my truth and to be living a lie in most areas of my life. It had been churning into a recipe for a tired and sluggish existence for quite a while.
Since making the commitment to myself to further research, explore and discover the 'what's' and really the 'how's' (more importantly for my highly curious mind) everything has shifted from the way I talk to myself, see myself and interact with others. It's been huge, a massive gift and ultimately I feel so much lighter now having gotten all of this off my chest.
Speaking of chests (lots more to come on this topic!) on a funny side note, when I was in the US earlier this year doing some acting training, I took part in a workshop with a company called SITI in NYC, who offered an amazing style of theatre training called 'Suzuki' (very physically demanding). One of the fabulous teachers (aka amazing actress) early in the piece said..."Yes I can see from watching you today that you have a slight body alignment issue (referring to my rounded shoulders - ha! yep!). You like the hold the weight of the world on your chest don't you?" (um not really!)
So 2 months in, I have now had 4 testosterone injections which has just increased in strength from 100 to 250 mgs each time (generally injected into quad or glut muscle tissue) and can sense there is something a little different occurring throughout my body. The most interesting thing I've noted so far is how much more vivid my dreams are, it's like a fantasy world heightened to the extreme ... what on some nights I guess I can only relate to what one perhaps experiences on an extreme drug trip. I may share a dream or two with you in a video post, we'll see :-)
Otherwise I can see my shoulder area is broadening, muscles growing (much to the credit of my great personal trainer), no real facial hair or body hair that's evident yet (this is a good thing, as a committed waxer of hair for most of my adult life, this is going to take some getting used to!), and I can sense there are slight changed occurring to my voice and vocal chord area. In other words welcome to teenage boy puberty - yay! I get a sense I'm about to become a whole lot more compassionate towards teenage boys and what they go through. I'm excited and apprehensive, bring it on hey!!
I also recently have connected with this awesome arts student in Sydney who has offered to take photographic still shots of my body every few weeks over the coming months, to really highlight how the body changes, so some of these will be appearing for your viewing curiosity soon...as they say....watch this space!
Speak to you all again soon,
Much love xoxoxo