Hey Andy I tried to talk to you on 2dayfm this morning but you had left the building while I was on hold.... I was waiting to ask you how your mental health was through out your life as you realised what you wanted so young... it must have been immensely frustrating? Did your frustration with what nature had made you effect your behaviour? I know how frustrated I get when I have cut my hair really short and then i have to wait for it to grow again and it drives me crazy for a long time... i know it really isn't anywhere near the caliber of the frustration you must have gone through but i was thinking if something as simple really as my hairstyle (or lack thereof) can have a profound effect on the way I feel about myself... I wondered if you were aware of the effects of constant frustration in your life... it must have been a nightmare ... and still is i imagine with so much to contemplate and address in realising becoming who you always have been. It takes a great deal of strength and fortitude of character to be open and honest on this journey and allowing others to share your experiences... I am sorry so many people in your life are struggling with your decision... especially your Dad, but when Push comes to shove I reccommend everyone should do the right thing for themselves especially when it is important regardless of anyone else. I admire your courage... well done!
Thankyou for being you ... my children were all sitting waiting for me to speak to you and asking questions this morning while you were on the radio... it is great for the children to learn how hard a road it can be to travel and that you are just trying to be who you really are... it invites open mindedness and I love being able to talk to my children about no matter what they do with their lives I will love them regardless and accept their choices... people like you bring it up for discussion where the forum is open and not under scrutiny but about curiosity and acceptance ... you are a refreshing vision when it comes to a subject that has been shunned and shouldn't be ..... I wish you all the best and that your future allows you everything you have ever dreamed!
Hey thanks,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your patience and you're great question.
What you speak of is very similar to my experience, yet probably on a bit of a deeper level. It'd be like I'd do my utmost each day to present well and look my best because deeper down I'd still look in the mirror each day and think ah there is still something that's not quite right about all this. Yet because as has been noted (not necessarily because I always believed it) I was quite attractive, I guess the compliments and attention that came my way was enough to support and make the incongruent feelings bearable and ok for as long it did. It was only when I began to take acting more seriously and look at myself on a more intimate level that all this was here waiting for me to seriously look at ... oh boy! And like when you start to experience a level of happiness and internal satisfaction of being more you (ie having the permission within an acting room to play 'me') the harder it began to put on the bravado each day and the compliments and attention that once supported me, no longer gave me anything near the inner peace and satisfaction that the permission to be me...which is a guy. I can say things now to women quite comfortably that with a female appearance that I used to hold back as it would just sound wrong or weird. I'm still quite a neat, hygenic person who takes pride in how they look, now it's just less effort (and i don't mean make up wise!)...if that makes some sense.
So it's almost like the decision chose me the moment I decided to get to know myself a little bit deeper. Has it been challenging? yes, not so much for me doing it for me, but for having to chose and put myself first when I knew it was going to impact every relationship in someway I've ever had. Ultimately I was saying I need to do this for me, even if I never have a close friend or initimate relationship ever again (gulp!) because I can't ask anyone to be ok with this who knows me if they are not and prefer not to be. That was the big step and the biggest issue still throughout this process which causes me a lot more grief than any physical affect of testosterone etc.
So it was an easy decision for me as I was lead further into it. Quite like deciding, 'yes I really need to go on this rollercoaster ride' and I know I probably wont enjoy the big drops along the way :-).
I'm extremely touched that you took the time and effort in front of your kids to call up and take an active interest for them to hear and see. I'm sorry the qn didn't get answered, the simplistic answer is time factor.
Looking forward to staying in contact with you and if you have any questions message me anytime.
Cheers,
Andy
Hi Andrew, your interview was amazing as I let you know on Facebook - it also lead me to the whole new world of blogging so thank you - drop by and say Hi if you like;
ReplyDeletehttp://b-hind-blue-eyes.blogspot.com/
x
That's awesome :-) x
ReplyDeleteI have to say as a trans man myself that I stand in disbelief that you would do an interview of this nature on 2dayfm. To have Karl Sandilands ask you about your genatalia??? and you actually answer!? Their questions were totally inappropriate, rude and invasive and the fact that you would respond and perpetuate this sort of transphobia is just bizarre.
ReplyDeleteThe thing is that in the history of the trans experience cis gendered society at large has shunned trans people as the monstrous 'other', as less than human and this behaviour is never more amplified than in their policing of our bodies. By the state forcing trans guys to have surgery in order to change sex legally and by this incessant repeating question about what is in our pants. As though knowing what is in your pants will put their minds at ease, as Karl so revoltingly put it 'I just want to see your vagina'. As though because you are trans (and therefore a freak) your body is somehow public propertym like the freak shows of the 1950's.
Equating genitals with gender is archaic and you humouring these questions with an answer is a perpetuation of the societal oppression and body policing of trans people. You may think it makes you look like less of a freak or that people have a right to know what's in your pants, but you must draw boundries. No-one has the right to know what is in anyone elses underpants. No-one. Has it ever been appropriate for Kyle to talk about the size of his cock or for what's her name to talk about her vagina? no. because that is so far beyond an invasion of privacy that it isn't even funny. Not only that but it isn't relevant to the conversation at all. A dick does not make the man. And the 90% of trans men that have not had surgery would certainly agree with that comment.
It concerns me that having only just begun your transition 7mths ago and having very little knowledge of lower surgery types,risks and complications and having from what I can gather very little contact with other trans men in Australia you are out there talking about your experience so readily in the media. It just strikes me that this media blitz is not coming from a place of wanting to educate the world on what it means to be trans and provide a positive role model for trans guys, but instead to get some kind of publicity for yourself. Just as Chaz Bono said some pretty inaccurate stuff recently in his interviews I would really implore you to consider the platforms that you are speaking from (ie Today FM??),the individuals involved(ie Kyle Sandilands??), the way this presentation effects the depiction of trans men more broadly and please, please research more and speak to other trans men to get a broader perspective on these topics, because what we don't need right now is more misinformation floating out there.
I do congratulate you for the courage it takes to come out in such a public fashion, it is always comendable to put yourself in such a vulnerable position and as the trans narrative is so rarely told it is great to hear those stories out there. I thank you for that. But I do urge you to consider more what questions are appropriate to answer and the way in which your answers may depict trans men more broadly. We have only a few voices and if at all possible they should be well informed and positive. No doubt your message is positive but I would question how well informed.
Hey Billy,
ReplyDeleteNice to hear from you. And thanks for your time in writing your thoughts. My only response to this is your entitled to your opinion and I'm sure others agree.
You seem to have made a lot of assumptions on the amount of research I have and havent done which is odd, bc you've not ever asked that. I'm not quite sure who's made you God but just know from my perspective there are many ways togo through a trans process & this is the way it's unfolded for me. Rather than getting in the way of my process again i'd be grateful for future comments coming in the form of qn's to help you understand what it is I am doing on platforms like 2dayFM b/c I assure you it is not what you speak of. I have over 50 personal FB messages to the contrary of what you say. I was on air talking with Kyle about my transition of sex, which is about a change of reproductive organs, what else would he ask about? I have no problems speaking of my genetalia on air, he was asking out of pure innocent curiosity. I also
invite you to look into why it is such an issue for You, bc that's probably why I'm on air with him and you are.
Thanks again for your post and just know the only negative comments about this right now are coming from the trans community, wider parts of society & community are grateful to know more about it...I think the 7000 blog hits I've had since Wednesday speak for themselves.
Much love & all the best with your transition!
PS I'll be on Channel 10 1045am Monday, be sure to look out for it & I invite you to watch and catch on to see what is actually happening in these media interviews.
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