Andrew Guy

We speak to our NSW #YourChair winner Andrew Guy about his journey as a trans person #TheProjectTV

Posted by The Project on Monday, September 7, 2015

Sunday, January 22, 2012

My God Child's Grandmother

I had a really great day today that I just can't help but share. I've spent time this wk end with a close school friend, who I was bridesmaid for and am god parent to her son. I just love him, there is such a strong friendship between us, we get each other, he's 4 and SUCH a cutie! 

It's been an 'interesting' journey with this extended family over the past year. I have a lot of love for this friend's mother, aka my godson's grandmother. She's an attractive, refined, always looking her best, proper English lady; life is black and white and orderly and routined; man marries woman and families happen and that's life at it's best.

The wedding of her daughter was the most important occasion, as part of the wedding party there were many duties, like making sure all the chocolate hearts were prepared and packaged the right way up, flowers arranged in certain ways, the bridesmaid dress had to be delivered to her house a week prior so she could have it dry cleaned and pressed. As a professional event organiser, I actually really do respect and love a fellow event perfectionist. So safe to say we hit it off on that occasion, I was right into her style!

Her father as well actually, we spent the night before the wedding drinking port and discussing the pro's and con's of Australia becoming a Federation. He was a CEO of a large Australian financial institution, and truly give me a business / political based discussion any day...pig in mud!!!

These relationships were further developed at the christening of my friend's child, when I became god parent. At this point I believe my friend's mother was of the belief that my gay identity could be nothing more than just a phase....well she was kind of correct ... doo de doo!! :-/

Now fast forward 10 years and how to broach what the bleep is happening in 'Anna's life' ... *gulp!* 

I'm not sure I can say this all unfolded in the best way it could have but it's been what it has. My friend in support of me agreed to be part of my madison article and offer a wedding pic - those of you who read it probably would recall. I did ask her at the time, "what have you told your mother?" ... her response which also felt right for me "at this point it's unlikely she'll come across madison and honestly I'm not entirely sure she'll understand so let's just leave it for now". Agreed, why make something out of nothing, our friendship and love for each other was concrete and this felt all that was needed for now...however...

what are the chances ... mother dearest was up in Noosa a few months later on holiday getting her hair done, and has THAT month's madison magazine placed on her lap to peruse! YEP! Apparently there were significant profanities that came out during that appointment ...dying to be a fly on the wall much! To be honest as much as we are compassionate foremost, my friend and her brother and I couldn't help but find it all a bit humorous! The hair salon still remembers her to this day!

I didn't hear all the details, as my dear friend sheltered me somewhat from what this brought up in her mother; a lot of judgement and confusion I understand, but ultimately a sadness that she didn't feel she could be told, which for us I guess was the truth.

Fast forward to now...4 months post this discovery and my god I tell you, I really do have a lot of love for this woman. I believe she has calmed the judgemental tone of conversation ... she has still blurted out comments over the Christmas lunch table, which could be considered a tad inappropriate. But she has taken a big interest to try understand more, and has recently recorded Chaz Bono's doco on foxtel to watch and learn. And today I got a very big well wish via my friend that she hoped my visit to play with the kids was going well and that I was happy and healthy. 

My friend and I are just in awe of her and have a lot of proudness for her willingness to come to terms and offer love! Ultimately my fear was that there would be some concern for me continuing a relationship with my godson of which there is none, we play, laugh, I teach him how to spike his hair with product, and just have that natural human bonding time.

This may all come up one day with him when he's older and I guess that'll be something to open into then. For now I'm just grateful for this family love (beyond my supportive brother) that is coming my way.

Thanks life, this has been a special day! I just love him!!

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