As some of you know, I've been totting off on a Thursday evening to the Roxbury Hotel in Glebe to partake in the improvisation show and theatre sports competition run there by Impro Australia. It's always a lot of fun, hugely terrifying and very insightful as I find whatever I end up doing on stage, somehow relates back to what I am doing in other areas of life...leading to all those questions, did I like that? was that well received? why did that feel so wrong? you hesitated there, why? etc etc etc ... stage time can do wonders for self awareness! It's that whole art/life/art/life/art/life thing and Improv especially is about saying yes to what your fellow improvarians offer to the scenario (so you don't leave them hanging in cyber terror looking like an idiot) and adding to it in some way ... but NEVER try be funny because then u suck!...
What hit home today again is that this gender change process is still making me so 'moment to moment' vigilant and open to whatever offer is coming from where ever next. As soon as I think I know and start to 'plan'...some internal shift happens in my body and then so it goes, everything else around me starts to do the same ... aka being in the eye of the storm (what was that song?! be great to have it kick in now!). I think I'm getting better at riding it out...sorta, maybe, kinda?!? Haven't killed anyone yet (kidding!!!). I'd say it's a similar feeling to when you ... say ... clean a house and then a 2 year old runs through with dirty feet, throws toys everywhere and looks at you grinning and laughing...eh what are you going to do?!
As far as I was aware, I'd set up the next month to be working (aka budgeting), training with a new personal trainer to get a bit more meat to the bone, studio acting training and getting this documentary (so far) trailer up and out. Though having a few things happen earlier this week like having one of my credit card numbers hacked and charged up, a few people cancelling things on me, I started to get suspicious, and yes behold, its all just changed again.
I had a great check up this morning with the surgeon that did my chest work, and like me, I can see he's a total perfectionist (more than happy about this!). He's decided it's best he does another small amendment to the skin, so back we go, week after next, day surgery, and then another few weeks recovery. Work schedule, PT schedule and acting schedule is now all out the window hopefully just for the month ... yep letting go letting go letting go ... so I'll share post surgery what he's doing and let you all see how it's working ... in the mean time letting go ... (internal mantra - 'love the two year old...love the two year old').
Next special skill listed on the acting CV is definitely going to be 'professional pin cushion'! ;-)