Andrew Guy

We speak to our NSW #YourChair winner Andrew Guy about his journey as a trans person #TheProjectTV

Posted by The Project on Monday, September 7, 2015

Friday, July 27, 2012

Why this really isn't a fun lifestyle choice

I often recall a few comments in the earlier days when I made the decision to finally progress this gender transition, of “how interesting and exciting” my life is compared to the ‘norm’ (whatever that is?!). I appreciated at the time it was coming from a place of love and support and ultimately acceptance which I believe is the one word most trans beings crave, as they have personally disowned a lot about who they are up until this point in their life, so to then face nonacceptance externally, especially loved ones, is one of the most painful things to feel.

However it feels like now I can speak the truth around this and say it really is by far a long long way from being interesting and exciting. By all means there are parts of the process that feel this way, mainly in that moment of "wow this actually real and finally happening"...however the journey is far from this. In my experience the real shadow of this is the actual day to day work of making it happen and for most of the time it’s with the medical profession. Different people make different choices as to how far their journey takes them to feel congruent so it’s less for some than others. 

Ultimately though it is a very medically orientated process which has been even harder for me personally as when given the choice I always choose natural holistic therapies over modern medicine. This is my and always will be my truth as I am forever devastated from witnessing what modern medical options did for my mother’s illness. It wasn’t acceptable and never will be in my world view.

Getting to my point, this is not a process of fun and excitement, it's one of getting absolutely real (generally inspired by the only other option being suicide), having to say "fuck you" to anyone who wants to make fun of or dishonour you, and then work consciously as much as possible to attain the outcome you need from people that hopefully want to help. All the while having to step around the land mind medical professionals who sometimes enjoy stepping into the "you need me" role.

The challenge is that there is not one doctor who governs or manages this for you and I don’t believe there should be. You need a psychiatrist to approve your request to transition and to make sure you are sane (quite a few insane beings try to claim a trans nature); an endocrinologist to facilitate hormone shifts; a GP to provide referral letters and support the administration of hormones if you don't want to self administer, as well as help with side effects if they show up; a gynaecologist to monitor internal organs and the effect the hormonal changes are having on them (levels of estrogen and testosterone within the body do effect female reproductive organs for all); a plastic surgeon to assist with physical upper body changes; and then for further surgeries you require specialties of urology, plastic surgery and reconstructive micro surgery. 

It’s also a mandatory personal decision for me to keep a group of HIGHLY specialized natural healers very close by to monitor my states of mind and being, energy channels, chakras etc which are all very real and important factors again for all. 

A trans person exists as about 1 in 1,000,000 (approx) so the demand is not there for Governments or private institutes to extend large amounts of funding to set up clinics with all of these specialties in first world countries let alone less than.

With all of this in mind, this experience really isn’t easy, it is very challenging and the interest and excitement wears of very quickly I assure you.

Love and gratitude always in your interest in wanting to understand this process. Some more fun and interesting and ‘relevant to all’ posts coming soon about that s.e.x. word! 

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Becoming more male by the day - absent mindedness

This is possibly the most challenging and simply stupid post I've ever written. What I mean by this is I actually am on very new levels seeming to become more male by the day in ways I'm not aware of until it slaps me across the face with a wet fish. More to the point, I'm experiencing a big realisation that I'm no longer the person I used to be (like us all really!), which I think still in some ways I've been doing my darnedest to hold onto. 

It's that idea of wanting to keep the good bits I liked of Anna as part of the package of the newer present day me, which for all purposes feels like a real 'fakeness' (a very strange paradox of truth and falseness that I am failing to express through words).

I am learning again on an entire new level that certain behaviors we do in life really are just so "male" or just so "female". I see so many conflicts between people in life which at the end of the day I now REALLY get is just a different brain pattern function that is just not the same as our individual self. I still stay true to the idea of "different hormone, different operating system" (PC vs MAC yet both can connect to each other on a daily basis!). And now experientially understanding this, I can see how this simple truth can be the friction of so much in life; in the home, workplace, and everywhere in between. 

Getting to my point, the biggest thing I have done of late that I have NEVER done ever before - bare with me, it may at first read sound pointless (aka...like "yeh so what?" but read it again & hopefully it'll transmute).

I've been sleeping in the same bed with the same sheets (washed regularly just FYI) for over eight months and a few weeks ago, I washed them again and just completely forgot I'd washed them and that they'd ever been on the bed, and just started sleeping with a doona that had no cover. I'd totally forgotten that I even had a cover on the bed until my flat mate returned home from holidays and found these muddy covers on the clothes line, saying "are these the ones that used to be on your bed?" ... my response "yes and until this moment I had entirely forgotten they'd even existed". 

It is the most absent minded thing I've EVER done and let's just say I remember the gifts I used to get as a three year old ... just bizarre. I've since been told this is just SO male! Okay?! But like really, I had no idea I'd done that, so am I to blame?! Do you know what I mean?! 

It's given me an ENTIRE new appreciation to things like how the guy forgets a certain thing from the supermarket even though he was just 'instructed', forgets a conversation, forgets to take the bins out, or god forbid just forgets an important date like an anniversary (GULP! I may actually do this in the future, dear god!) ... truly it's just like a blank out of time, and not at all intentional! In the past this was just not my reality - efficiency was just instinct! 

Anyway this is all, I'll be sure to document more of these random male encounters and do my best to come up with un-express able explanations!

Love as always x

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