I often recall a few
comments in the earlier days when I made the decision to finally progress this
gender transition, of “how interesting and
exciting” my life is compared to the ‘norm’ (whatever that is?!). I
appreciated at the time it was coming from a place of love and support and
ultimately acceptance which I believe is the one word most trans beings crave,
as they have personally disowned a lot about who they are up until this point in their
life, so to then face nonacceptance externally, especially
loved ones, is one of the most painful things to feel.
However
it feels like now I can speak the truth around this and say it really is by far
a long long way from being interesting and exciting. By all means there are
parts of the process that feel this way, mainly in that moment of "wow this actually real and finally happening"...however
the journey is far from this. In my experience the real shadow of this is the
actual day to day work of making it happen and for most of the time it’s with
the medical profession. Different people make different choices as to how far
their journey takes them to feel congruent so it’s less for some than others.
Ultimately
though it is a very medically orientated process which has been even harder for
me personally as when given the choice I always choose natural holistic therapies
over modern medicine. This is my and always will be my truth as I am
forever devastated from witnessing what modern medical options did for
my mother’s illness. It wasn’t acceptable and never will be in my world
view.
Getting
to my point, this is not a process of fun and excitement, it's one of getting absolutely
real (generally inspired by the only other option being suicide), having to say
"fuck you" to anyone who
wants to make fun of or dishonour you, and then work consciously as much as
possible to attain the outcome you need from people that hopefully want to help.
All the while having to step around the land mind medical professionals who sometimes
enjoy stepping into the "you need me" role.
The challenge is that there
is not one doctor who governs or manages this for you and I don’t believe there
should be. You need a psychiatrist to
approve your request to transition and to make sure you are sane (quite a
few insane beings try to claim a trans nature); an endocrinologist to
facilitate hormone shifts; a GP to provide referral letters and support the
administration of hormones if you don't want to self administer, as well as
help with side effects if they show up; a gynaecologist to monitor
internal organs and the effect the hormonal changes are having on them (levels
of estrogen and testosterone within the body do effect female reproductive
organs for all); a plastic surgeon to assist with physical upper body
changes; and then for further surgeries you require specialties of
urology, plastic surgery and reconstructive micro surgery.
It’s also
a mandatory personal decision for me to keep a group of HIGHLY specialized
natural healers very close by to monitor my states of mind and being, energy
channels, chakras etc which are all very real and important factors again for
all.
A trans person exists as about 1 in 1,000,000 (approx) so the
demand is not there for Governments or private institutes to extend large
amounts of funding to set up clinics with all of these specialties in first
world countries let alone less than.
With all
of this in mind, this experience really isn’t easy, it is very challenging and
the interest and excitement wears of very quickly I assure you.
Love and
gratitude always in your interest in wanting to understand this process. Some
more fun and interesting and ‘relevant to all’ posts coming soon about that
s.e.x. word!
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